New Attitudes

My blog friend Lioness
invited me to join in her New Attitude Blog Hop
and we've been blog friends for awhile now, so of course I said yes
because I completely agree with the fact that your life isn't summed up by
what happens to you
but rather what you do about it.
Go by and check out all the New Attitude bloggers
if you can.

Anyway, today's post is about one of my new attitudes
so the timing was perfect.
....
You know me.
I'm a Princess.
And....
Cars aren't really my thing.

In fact, I hate them mostly
(although today I saw this really hot audi
and since I don't know how to steal cars,
 I will sell one or both I my children for it
if you think I can get enough for them.
They're good kids, really, I swear.).

But, no one's given me cash for my kids yet,

so I drive my SAPOC volvo

(SweetAssPieceO'Crap, if you're new).

It's paid for and it gets me from point A to point B.

So, I have developed
a bit of a devil may care attitude about certain things.
Like the timeliness of my stickers.

But, I decided it was time for my wild and crazy times to come to an end
and get myself a new attitude about that.

I wasn't sure I could handle this.
Looking inside the engine.
There's like
car parts
and stuff in there.
A lot of them.

You can almost see the trepidation written all over my face.

But you know how I LOVE virgin experiences,

and I believe attitude is everything,

so I talked myself into going under and taking a peek.

I couldn't have done this alone.
Thank god I have the most wonderful support system in place.

After all this looking,
I finally felt ready and on Saturday went to get my inspection.

Of course, it was raining--it NEVER rains here--we're in the worst drought EVER 

and who knew, certainly not I, that you can't get an inspection in the rain.

At least they sent out Tracy, the hot chick mechanic

(well, ok, she wasn't exactly hot, but for excitement purposes of the story we'll say she was,

plus she was kind when I needed it so that really counts)

to tell me because maybe they knew after all this emotion and anticipation

I would just burst into tears thinking I would finally get it done

and then I couldn't.

Maybe you can feel the exasperation in my hand guestures.

But I'm resilient, so on Sunday I gathered my good energies

and I went to this inspection machine I'd heard about.

Fuck! Foiled again!

Who knew... the inspection machine is CLOSED on Sundays.

At this point I almost can't stand it I am feeling so damned desperate

to get inspected.

And so damned nervous.

Can I do it?
Will I pass?

All this emotion is just too much for me.

Finally,

it's Monday.

I pull into the machine.

I've never done it this way before,

using a machine.

I have to confess, I was already nervous

but the viewing area did nothing

to calm my fears.
Voyeurs can be sexy.
Just not when they're
Stuffed Pink Bigfoot waving at me while he(?) it(?) she(?) watches.

Anticipation had been building for so long now

I got so overly excited

I pulled in way too far

and the Inspector Chick had to ask me to back it up a bit.

Then she opened the door,

leaned in,

scanned in my info,

jiggled my handles,

tested my switches,

all this before it was even time to open my hood and look inside my engine.

She seemed really experienced and so I'm really glad to have had this done by a pro.

My hood is very discriminating, you see,

and it doesn't just open for anyone.

Sometimes, you need two people,

one to jiggle the handle and one to squeeze the lever.
That day, in the privacy of the machine

with Stuffed Pink Bigfoot watching,
we needed two people.

Then it was time,

Inspector Chick needed to test my turbo.

Well, actually, she needed to test my braking ability,

I think she wanted to test my turbo.

She revved it, twice,

floored it,

and rammed it into the braking testing pad.

At this point my engine is really surging

and she wants to know how long it's been doing this

I really don't know

so she starts to tell me about this product she's got

that will clean my lines once every three months or so

not every other time like some of them.

But this is too much for me and she mentions oil changes at the same time

and I'm starting to get confused

when I notice she's back in my car

cleaning my windshield

for....

THIS!

THE ELATION!

THE SENSATION!
My SAPOC is street legal again,

and DAMN it feels GOOD!

love you all!

xoxoxoxo,

stacey